One day you’re a boy getting a date. The next you’re a man buying a stroller.
It’s a slow process growing into fatherhood. But once it happens, you become a different person.
A man experiences 3 changes that transform him into a father. Your brain powers up. You lose control. And you learn to roll with the punches.
Things I Learned My First Year as a Father
My first year as a Dad has been awesome. Kids make life worth living.
As you’d expect my life is very different than it was a year ago. Now I change diapers and read touch n’ feel books in my free time. Your time is coming. And I’d like to help you prepare.
Here’s what I noticed while transitioning from married life to parenthood.
1. Your Brain Changes
My mindset changed the moment I found out I was a father. My wife told me she was pregnant on January 16th. It was a moment of excitement, but also a moment of extreme responsibility. I felt compelled to secure a bright future for my family.
Providing and Protecting are the two most important things to a husband and father. You feel a sense of responsibility when you get married. But it reaches another level when you have a child.
You’ll start building resources like never before. And your brain will focus on opportunities to increase the security of your family.
The New York Times agrees that Dad’s brain changes. A change is seen in the outer region is where tasks like planning and problem solving are performed. Basically, your biology is adapting to allow you to better parent a child.
I’ll tell you how the change affected me.
I started a baby registry and acted as a pit crew chief in my household. My job was vetting all the baby gadgets and cross-referencing them with our friend’s experiences. We had an awesome baby list.
Who appointed me to this position? I did. Of Course.
If I couldn’t carry the baby, I could at least make sure we had all the supplies we needed.
I know. It sounds like Voo-Doo. But it will happen to you.
2. You Lose Control
There’s not very much you can do once your wife has conceived. You can help build a home and make her comfortable. But you can’t carry the baby. You don’t deliver the baby. And you won’t breastfeed your child.
Understanding and accepting these facts will require faith you may not have used before. You will be entrusting your team (wife, doctors, and extended family) to take care of your most important treasure. Get used to it.
You’ll be going back to work. And for most of the day, YOU will not be responsible for your child’s care.
This will cause you to be more concerned with the little things than you’ve ever been in your life. You’ll wonder things like:
- Are they being kind to my baby?
- Is my baby going to be upset because I’m gone?
- Is my child getting enough attention?
These thoughts are completely normal. They reflect the reality you must accept. You are not in control.
3. You Accept Change
Now that you’re a Dad, life moves fast. You will transition from breast milk to solid foods before you know it. By the time you get used to rocking your child to sleep, your baby will fall asleep unassisted. When you get skilled at changing 10-15 wet and dirty diapers per day, your child will start having 1 massive poop every 4 days.
This is your life. And it changes all the time.
I won’t mention the flexibility you develop in other aspects of your life. Just know that you will accomplish more work than you thought with less energy than you’ve had.
The blessing in all these changes is that you learn to quit sweating the small stuff. Every day something happens that you didn’t expect. It’s ok. Keep moving forward.
You accept the things you can’t change. And change the things you can.
Welcome to fatherhood!
Even though your brain changes, you lose control, and your life is constant change. Fatherhood is awesome.
Awaken the Beast
Your child awakens a part of your DNA that would be dormant otherwise. These biological changes will level up your ability to plan and problem solve. With these new superpowers, your performance will surge to secure your family’s future.
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